me in a nutshell:
i fake-swooned on the couch like a victorian heroine, hoping that my cries would inspire james mcavoy to bring me a cuppa tea and a jammie dodger. they didn’t. so i yelled, “james, bring me a cuppa tea and a jammie dodger.” and he didn’t. so i got up and cooked ALL THE BACON IN THE HOUSE. then i ate it.